Matron of Honour in Training

I haven’t missed a class since we started back at the beginning of June. To be honest I love it! It’s bloody hard work and sometimes I know I don’t push myself as hard as I could (I have the resistance lower than I should have it) but according to the bike stats I still burn about 200 – 300 calories a class. The other ladies in the class burn around 500 calories though so I don’t know whether their bikes measure it differently or they are working twice as hard but it gives me something to aspire to

On the first Saturday of September we are having a Tour de France cycling class, 2 hours of cycling based on the actual TdF stages. I don’t know how they are going to condense it down to just 2 hours of cycling but I’m actually looking forward to it!

In order to do some training for it I have added a SPIN playlist on my Ipod and am going to put together different lengths of training tracks to keep me moving. I’m trying to find songs that are good for “hill climbing”, sprinting and recovery along with warm up and cool down songs.

I’m feeling motivated at the moment, possibly because I’m not focusing on the weight and measurements so much and more on the fitness achievements . However, weight and measurements are still very important to me as they are tied up with my self-esteem, how I think people view me and how I feel about myself.

I don’t know if it’s a normal feeling but I find that I’m not as confident in things that I do especially if I do something wrong as my first thought is that other people would be thinking “oh, stupid, fat, bitch/woman”. I can’t help it that’s what I think and I feel that when I lose the weight and am no longer overweight that I will have more confidence to do more things, take more risks and in doing so make more mistakes without the fear that my weight may be brought into my failures or even successes.

I know I’ve had lots of stops and starts but as long as I’m still starting again that’s progress right?

I’m not even going to bother going into detail about what has happened since I was last on, it’s been too long!

I’m pretty chuffed since I’ve lost 500g since Wednesday (18th). Yay! I’ve been entering my food on My Fitness Pal each night and although I’ve been over the recommended 1300 calories I haven’t been stressing about it, I’m definitely more aware of what I’m putting in my mouth, partly because I think “how am I going to track that?” LOL.

I like that I can enter the exercise I’ve done, even if it’s just 10 minutes of cleaning at work, and it works out the calories and adds that to my allowance.

As ever water is still an ongoing battle for me but I’m still trying.

The wedding planning is chugging along nicely Sez has been doing all her bits and pieces, seeing florists and sourcing things for the day. So far so good, I’ll just be a bit happier when we have a dress on order for her!

Times ticking away…

I did my first indoor cycling class tonight. It was instead of my usual PT session as my PT was taking it! She signed my mother and me up for it, pushing us to try something different.

It’s supposed to be good for weight loss and for toning legs and bum. That’s what I need!!!

Since it was the first class at this particular time and because there were only 3 of in the class the PT said that it was more of a laid back class than usual. Fine by me!

My thigh muscles were burning and we were still in the warm-up cycle, not a good sign. I managed to finish the class however I do feel like I should have pushed myself harder. So that will be my goal for next week, to stay on a higher resistance as long as possible.

Yep that’s right I will be trying it again next week

I bought my first ever pair of knee-high boots last week, right after Gok Wan’s appearance at Manukau! It was on a bit of a chance, I’d seen the boots suitable for “athletic” calves in the No. 1 Shoe Warehouse brochure so I thought I’d give it a go and they fit!

I’ve never owned a pair of knee-high boots before, I have either been too young, too broke (student) or too fat. My legs are my biggest, challenge, shall we say. I hate them, from my fat ankles to my large thighs there is nothing I like about them…at all.

I bought them straight away, didn’t think twice. I love them, they make me feel confident and sexy and thin! Because I know how hard it is to find boots that fit, the very fact that I fit some makes me feel on top of the world.

Isn’t it amazing how an item in your wardrobe can give your self-esteem such a boost!

Do you have an article of clothing or pair or shoes or even an accessory that makes you feel sexy and confident?

Please share!

I haven’t been making any progress. I’m still in the 80’s, still stuck. Addicted to Blue V – really need to kick that habit seeing as it adds hundreds of calories a day. I could be having an alright day eating wise but a bottle or can of that stuff and it blows everything right out of the water.

2nd birthday party for the boy and the usual pizza for stocktake at work haven’t helped things either. Being too busy to fit in extra gym visits. None of this has helped but they are all just excuses in the end aren’t they? I didn’t have to eat so much cake or icing while making the robot cake. I could have gone to the gym as soon as hubby got home, even if it was only for 30mins or so it still would have been better than not going.

A kick up the bum is what I need.

My PT has signed me up for a Spin class next Tuesday that she’s taking – scary!  I find it hard to do 2 – 5 mins on the spin bike let alone 45 mins!!! Yep I’m nervous.

I keep “starting again” there isn’t really ever a time when you can just give up is there? There is no harm in trying and trying and trying, somethings got to click eventually. That special switch in your brain that suddenly turns on and that motivation to resist sugary foods and fit in the gym whenever possible.

I need my switch on now please!

Still trying…promise!

No change. Still sitting at 84kg

I weighed in on Saturday morning and had lost 400g but obviously put it back on again somehow by this morning.

*Sigh*

Oh well, I’ll just keep taking the Fat Burner tablets (which smell terrible FYI) and go to the gym as usual and hope that I will start to see some changes.

I guess I was hoping the tablets would help me but no sign of it yet.

I’ve started..again. My starting weight is now 84kg!!!!

Easter didn’t help but it’s not the only reason for me going up. My eating has just been all over the show. It’s not down to lots of takeaways or anything like that it’s down to not eating proper breakfasts and resorting to energy drinks full of sugar and convenience drinks such as Up n Go’s. Also snacking on anything and everything.

I’ve had 2 sessions with my PT that I was using last year and she’s noticed a difference in my fitness, I was never at peak fitness anyway but since I stopped working with her last year it’s gone on a downhill slide. She’s writing me a new program and is going to go with it with my next week.

To help kickstart movement on the scales which I’m hoping will help get the motivation back I’m trying one of the Configure Express products called Fat Burner. Great labelling there huh? I’ve been taking it for 3 days now and I haven’t noticed any difference apart from doing more ahem *cough* bowel movements. Bet you wanted to know that didn’t ya?! Is that how it “burns” the fat? I’m not too sure, I have a months supply so hopefully it will help.

I’ve never been one to try things like this but I’ve had enough and I’m starting to head on a downwards spiral mentally because of my weight along with other things going on in my life.

So I’m going to update all the stats and start fresh. Time is running out and I can hear the clock ticking, bringing me closer to the wedding!

On a never-ending mission.

Yours,

That’s what I feel like I’m doing, I’m going round in circles and not getting anywhere and especially not seeing any progression on the scales.

My biggest problem I’ve noticed is my snacking, mainly between the time I get home and bed. In the 2 days I’ve been at work this week (thank you long Easter weekend!) my eating up until I get home has been great. I’ve had decent breakfasts, I’ve taken carrot sticks and hummus for snacks and I’ve had basic Ham, Cheese & Beetroot sandwiches. When I get home everything goes out the window. I have a bit of this, a bit of that, I go to the fridge multiple times and I’ve started to notice it’s not necessarily because I’m hungry as I don’t think I am. It may be boredom, it may be habit. I don’t really know for certain.

This is obviously something that I need to actively work on. Straight after dinner I’m going to start brushing my teeth (rather than just before bed) so that I have the minty taste in my mouth which will hopefully discourage me from picking at the leftover dinner or anything else in the fridge. It will also mean that I will only be able to drink water as I hate the minty flavour combined with anything else. I’m also going to keep myself busy playing with Mr almost 2 or folding washing or even reading a book…or writing on here!

I’ve spoken to the PT I was working with last year when I did the Break programme through my gym and we are going to re-look at the programme she left me with after the 13 weeks were over. I have shared parts of it before, it is a workout to fit into 45 mins with a combination of cardio and weights. you start by doing as much as you can of the programme within the 45 mins with the goal of being able to finish it all within that time frame. I never saw myself as being able to get to that stage and I think that was part of the reason I “put it aside” and started doing my own thing..which obviously isn’t working either!

Time is ticking away and if I want to lose weight and feel good about myself being in the wedding party I need to take action now while as little as a few hundred grams a week would still result in me looking fantastic for Serena’s big day.

My FIL told me this afternoon that there is only 46 weeks left so to get to 65kg I need to lose around 400grams a week. At this stage it’s still do-able, there will however be plateaus and potholes that I will need to work through.

I’m still trying, I just need to try harder. I don’t want to quit as the only person who will be unhappy is me and that will affect my family as well as my state of mind.

Keep on movin…..

I seem to be gaining and losing the same  100 – 200 grams and I’m sick of it!

Eating wise today ( I was at a product launch for work for morning tea, lunch and afternoon tea) – Hot Cross bun with Olivani, green tea, 2 cups of tea with 1 x sugar and trim milk, banana muffin, 2 ham salad sandwiches, melon, date scone with strawberry jam, small container of crispy noodles, slice of meatloaf, chicken stuffed with lite cream cheese and apricot served with salad, Smirnoff Mule, can of L&P.

No gym today, but definitely gym tomorrow and I’m going to do some running baby Not because I like it but because I’m aware that doing some kick ass cardio will help me get of this plateau.

My year to the wedding is diminishing! I’m down to 346 days and winter is coming up and I’m going to have to work hard at keeping my motivation up otherwise it is going to be far to easy to come home and curl up on the couch after work.

Yesterday we went to a wedding expo held out west and it was pretty good, better than I was expecting. Serena got some good ideas and a whole lot more brochures and websites to check out. Oh and we are going to go dress ‘shopping’ on Friday 13th…I am so excited, I can ‘t wait to see her in a wedding dress, she is going to look beautiful!

Anyway I’m holding onto the wagon by my finger tips, but I NEED to get out of the 83’s, seriously!

83.3kg….100grams down *sigh*

Went to the gym twice last week, eating was crap as my week self-confidence wise was about as low as you can get.

From memory I had Burger King on Tuesday, Wendy’s on Thursday (straight after going to the gym – ridiculous right?!), McDonalds on Saturday, roast dinner on Saturday night and a fair amount of alcohol. Terrible, terrible eating. I’m lucky I lost 100 grams!

Also did a 5km walk through the Botanic Gardens and Totara Park which given the wet conditions at 7am on Sunday morning (it was the Sunrise Walk for Hospice) it was more an exercise in not slipping over in the mud! It was all for a great cause though.

I know I should have gone to the gym tonight but my legs are still quite sore so I will go tomorrow…promise